On a Saturday afternoon in mid January, I saw a porcupine at our apple tree, eating one of apples that had fallen. Our apple tree had a bountiful year in 2025, and many of the apples held on. The deer have enjoyed the winter apples too. I approached ‘him’ (no idea the gender) to take a couple photos. He paused initially, but then resumed eating. He was so sweet to witness. His thick, lush fur, little hands, and gremlin sounds as he ate. I remember thinking about how much they must go through, and how I could never survive winter in the wild like them (along with all the other creatures). The encounter made my day. It was the first time I felt joy in weeks.
The next day, I was out with my cat, letting him wander with supervision (feeling confident he wouldn’t flee because of the snow on the ground). He slowly made his way into our 3-walled woodshed. I followed him in, along with my dog. Shortly after, i noticed my dog was eating something. My instinct quickly told me it was poop (he loves poop), I grabbed him and saw little porcupine pellets. I zoomed over to my cat, who was just turning the corner of a wood pile, and just a couple feet away from the porcupine. Neither of them noticed. I scooped up my cat and brought him and my dog back inside.
I didn’t tell my partner right away, because I knew he would say it had to go, and my heart was swelling up and really wanting to leave him be. We both have dogs who can get seriously injured if they were to encounter and charge the porcupine, but whether he’s in the shed or not, he will be around and so the risk is always there – right? The porcupine just seemed so unassuming and harmless, and lovely. All members of my immediate family deeply understand this conflict, but my partner whom I must compromise with, doesn’t. People who live in the country tend not to. Whether they’re on a farm and have hardened over their own losses, or wildlife is seen as a nuisance to eradicate, or their convenience just precedes compassion and compromise with the creatures.
I eventually told him, and negotiated a little time and patience for me to find a way to get the porcupine to move on naturally. I left a radio playing 24/7 the first day. When that didn’t work, I added a light to the area he would rest in. I also made a point to hang around there more and make noise. Nothing deterred him, and he continued to return.
5 days after our initial encounter, I spotted him at the apple tree and decided to wait him out, and once i saw him making his way to the shed, i would go out there and stand in the way, forcing him to find a difference resting place. Turns out he was quite patient, or stubborn. He stood on his back legs and looked at me, like “Hello there, can’t I just pass?”. He eventually won, that day.
The next day, I saw him sunning against our garage; one of the warmest winter spots I’ve personally found on our property so far. I took the opportunity to go fill all the nooks in our woodshed with branches etc, so he would have no more hiding places and be forced to move on. But he returned, and I found him resting against one of the woodpiles. This time in the center of the woodshed, instead of between the wood piles and the walls. My partner was losing patience for the situation, and I was feeling stressed about minimizing harm.
The next day we put up one of those orange construction fences, so he could no longer get in. Later that day, i saw him at the edge of a cluster of evergreens, about a meter from the woodshed’s construction fence barrier. He was eating a branch from the tree. A couple hours later, I saw him resting at the woodshed entrance.
The next morning, we got a ton of snow. Like 20+ cm.
I looked for him in the evergreen cluster. I’d seen him climb on of those trees before, and thought he might be up there, but I couldn’t spot him. I looked for him in surrounding forest spots, but how could he go anywhere? I unsurprisingly did not find any prints. I read online that porcupines can stay in the same tree for weeks when there’s deep snow. I read that they can bear temperatures as cold as -40 degrees Celsius. So I hoped & prayed he was somewhere in a tree.
A week went by. I periodically checked the woodshed area, but never saw any signs of him.
Then, the following week it started to warm up again. The snow levels slowly started to come down, and I wondered if I would finally see him again.
Saturday morning, I went by the woodshed and there he was. Pretty much right where I last saw him a week and a half before. He was dusted with snow. It looked like he was asleep. I slowly touched him, praying for some sort of response, but he was frozen solid. This fellow creature that shared our land, dead because of our decision. I wish I had thought to check the weather first. It crushed me. It never occurred to me that he would just stay there.
I flipped into survival mode, quickly got the shovel to gently separate him from the ground, and brought him to a special spot at the edge of the forest where I’ve been building a square-ish deadhedge-ish thing over the last couple of years. A type of make-shift retaining wall where the lawn slopes into the forest. In the center of it, I made him a bed of balsam fir, and then covered him with the same. Then some carboard, then a bunch of logs, branches etc, and packed with snow so his smell can’t be detected. In the spring I intend to add plants & dirt to the top of it, to try and transform this 2 year pile into a live space. At the far left corner, in the forest/wall side of the project, there’s a stump that is meant as a spot to sit once the project becomes a living mound. Now the porcupine will be right there to visit with, inside the mound, becoming the mound.
When i was collecting branches, i found one that had been chewed, I assume by him, so that stick now marks where he rests. I will continue to put care into his resting spot as a way to channel my grief, and remember him. All I can say is that I’m deeply sorry for how things turned out, and I wish I’d known more so I could have prevented his demise. I did my best to educate myself, and do the right thing. I will remember this forever, and I will endeavor to do better next time. A Hawaiian prayer a friend taught me is serving as my mantra while my heart reconciles this reality.
I’m sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Thank you.
I posted my favorite photos and videos in an Instagram post, if you feel so inclined. Be warned that it includes the final time I saw him.